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| 2011 Nobel Laureate, Tawwakol Karma |
The old saying that “behind
every successful man stands a strong woman” continues to highlight the
role of women in many of the great human accomplishments of time,
particularly where men are in the forefront of success. Some, in fact,
go as far as adding that the “great woman” standing behind this “great
man” is a woman of “fire”, or ‘...une femme de feu’; the French would
say.
This
saying only affirms the different spheres to which women and men have
been socially confined. Traditionally, especially in a patriarchal
society, men have been perceived as carriers of the burden of
responsibility for their families, leaving the weight of the family’s
honor on the woman to shoulder. That way, women have been made to
understand and accept that their sphere -- their ‘area’ -- is the
private sphere, not the public sphere, which has been exclusively
dedicated to men.
But
what many tend not to realize is that the traditional one-way approach
to this popular adage, which is tightly held onto by many in our
society, will have to cone full-circle very soon. Because in the case of
Tawwakol Karma, co-winner of the 2011 Nobel Peace Prize, it is the
“great man” standing firmly behind the “great woman”; providing all the
support she needs to fulfill her potential since, for her, the sky is
just the beginning, hardly her limit. She credits her success to her
husband who has been standing unwaveringly behind her, ensuring that not
even their domestic affairs or the family upkeep interferes with the
activism work of his wife.
Just
by listening to this fearless combatant of democracy and human rights
in the Arab World, helps to validate the Nobel Committee’s decision that
indeed this free speech campaigner deserves the prestigious
international accolade bestowed upon her. Tawwakul was honored with the
world’s most revered award, the Nobel Peace Prize, in 2011, along with
two eminent daughters of Liberia: President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf and
Leymah Gbowee.
In
a May 2012 interview with this writer in Tunis, Tunisia, Tawwakol, with
her face beaming with smiles, boldly said that her husband is her
strength. She had been visiting Tunis with a task at hand; the task to
deliver the keynote address at the World Press Freedom Day conference
which brought together over 700 media practitioners and free speech
campaigners from across the globe.
In
that interview, she revealed that to be able to do what she has
dedicated her life to doing; she enjoys the undivided cooperation of her
spouse. She believes that if a woman desires to break through the
“social, professional, gender, economic” [and other] glass ceilings to
reach the top, she would definitely need a husband who is prepared to
sacrifice some of his own ambitions for hers; a husband who is willing
to reverse the roles for a second.
In
her own words, her husband chooses to stay at home with the children
only to allow her go out and do what she has been called upon to do for
the people of Yemen.
“I
have three children. My husband and I have been living on something
like a partnership. My husband has been helping a lot with the children
while I concentrate my effort on working for a nationwide peace and
stability. My husband has been extremely helpful in that regard. He has
been really supportive to me.
“This
is because he knows that whatever I am doing is for the new generation
of Yemen, which he appreciates a whole lot. He helps to take care of the
children whilst I go in the street to speak against ills in our
society,” she said.
This
might sound somehow strange and surprising to many people since the
notion about gender democracy in the Arab World has always been that the
women are allowed to flourish ONLY in the shadow of their spouses – the
men. They (women) are never given a chance to test their potentials as
women. In fact, some even conclude that religiously, Arab women (like
all Muslim women) have only one right and that is the right to remain
silent.
So,
to hear that a husband, especially an Arab man for that matter, has
taken over caring for the kids full time, commandeered the kitchen only
to see his wife succeed in her endeavors, would definitely be shocking
[for those of the opposite world view].
But
Tawwakol’s story gives us a completely different view of the whole
argument. It shows how gender perceptions vary from one household to the
other, hardly a cross-cutting issue across the Arab World. It also
forces us to begin to think outside the box and broaden our scopes of
thinking outside of the status quo to the emerging realities of today’s
world.
Tawwakol’s
case proves this point regardless of the environment in which we live.
What should matter the most to any woman is having a supportive husband
to be able to achieve the ambitions that she so desires. A supportive
husband would unconditionally defend the right of his wife to excel on
all fronts in life – be it academic or professional. And this is exactly
what Tawwakol’s husband has been doing. He proudly stands behind his
wife by encouraging her confidence, independence, and individuality.
“To
be able to do more for peace, my husband had to be there. It is a big
responsibility; a responsibility that I cannot carry by myself without a
supportive husband. And now with the Nobel Peace Prize, the
responsibility has even doubled and that also means I should double my
effort for peace in Yemen,” she said.
Indeed,
it takes a strong man to tune out the majority’s echoes. It takes
confidence and conviction in one’s principles to tread an unbeaten path.
It takes a secure man to relinquish control, with a calm knowing that
his sense of importance is not based on dominance. To admit,
unfortunately, such men are a rare breed.
If
you have a husband who supports your ambitions in any significant way,
by sacrificing his personal ambitions or goals to help you realize
yours, we invite you to tell your story. Even if you choose to be
anonymous, your story can help to inspire other couples like yours and
Tawwaku’s, to accomplish great things together. Send your stories to
nabiefofana@gmail.com
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