Selective Feminism II: How about a Wife Shortchanging Her Husband?

He is the man. So, let him take charge

“This woman you see sitting here (pointing at his wife sitting next to him), I have been married to her for more than 20 years; but never a day has she taken it upon herself to at least contribute to the feeding of the family,” a disappointed husband recently told me.

I am continuing with where I left off in our last edition, Selective Feminism. Recently, I focused on how hypocritical our gender advocates can be in their advocacies. They have been unwavering in their battle for emancipation and equity in all spheres of life, but when it comes to sharing the family’s financial responsibility on a 50 – 50 basis, they are mute on that. Why are we being so hypocritical about this gender equity thing? So, we only want to be given all of the rights, especially the right to earn, but the right to spend equally must exclude us?

Some girls will deliberately refuse to split restaurant bills with their guys. The notion has always been: “he’s the one in charge, so let him pay.”

Anyway, here’s a typical story of a wife shortchanging her husband in the home. Already, she has vehemently declined sharing the responsibility to foot the bills with the man. Yet, she finds it more fun slicing the food money given her on a daily basis by her husband.

Late last month, my attention was drawn to this intense quarrel between a couple residing in the Chocolate City community of Monrovia. It happened that this wife [previously a stay-at-home mom but now a full-time employee at a provision store in the neighborhood] had the habit of slicing the US$10 daily food money given to her in two: US$5 for ingredients for the family’s three-square meals and US$5 plus her own earnings deposited in a community susu club.

This went on for at least a year and the half, until last month when confusion broke out between her and the susu mother— the caretaker of the money gathered. After banking over US$1000 with this susu mother, this wife began finding it extremely difficult to regain her funds. The susu mother kept assuring her every time she inquired about the money. When her patience finally ran out, she had a fight with the susu mother, who in turn, disclosed the news of her slicing the food money given to her by her husband. You can guess what that put this woman into. It nearly cost her, her marriage.

But let’s note here that this is not a unique case. I have seen instances like this occurred in many homes across our society. And the one question that this leaves me to ask is: Why do some women think the only [or better] way to snatch a few dollars from their men is by slicing the food money?  If we say we no longer want to live in the shadow of a man, why not stand up on our own two feet? Look women, we have to be more real about this equity thing and stop being hypocritical about it; not even for a split second. We have to take our responsibilities more seriously.

Again, if we really mean this equality thing, we have got to go for the ‘whole enchilada’ (filling Mexican meal) not just one-half of it.

Check out Part I of this article here.