The Battered Wife

STOP being heartless and learn to be a loving spouse

No wonder why Liberia has made it as one of 15 African countries in which violence against women, especially wife battery, is so rampant. In Liberia [as elsewhere across Africa], wife battering has become one of the symptoms of male oppression and female relegation to an unimportant or powerless position.

The World Health Organization (WHO) recently release a report which states that more than a third of all women worldwide are victims of physical or sexual violence, posing a global health problem of epidemic proportions.

Physical or sexual violence is a public health problem that affects women globally, the report said. The vast majority of women are attacked or abused by their husbands or boyfriends, and common health problems they suffer include broken bones, bruises, pregnancy complications, depression and other mental illnesses, the report finds.

It lists Liberia among 15 countries in African where violence against women is epidemic. The other countries are Botswana, Cameroon, DR Congo, Ethiopia, Kenya, Lesotho, Malawi, Mozambique, Namibia, Rwanda, South Africa, Swaziland, Uganda, Tanzania, Zambia and Zimbabwe.

Look around the city of Monrovia today and you will see at almost every turn, a “Say NO to Violence against Women” sign. Yet, the abuse keeps swelling by the minute because the wife batterers care less how much campaigning is being done against this social vice.

In fact, nowadays, the abusers refuse to be the ONLY ones doing the beating all by themselves. They are inviting their brothers, mothers and sisters to join in the flogging of their wives. And sadly, in some societies, this is accepted because “tradition accepts it”. Scores of women continue to fall prey to spousal violence and are made to think they deserve it because tradition accepts it.

A classic example of this happened Sunday night within the Chocolate City vicinity when a young wife was violently brutalized by her husband, assisted by his mom, older brother and a younger sister. Even the wife of the older brother found it fun participating in the act. Strange!! It was a guerrilla warfare declared on the 28-year-old wife. Why was she subjected to such brutality? Because she has yet to make her share of contribution to the family: bearing a child.

This young wife had been married in that family since 2007 and has yet to bring forth a child. Throughout her six years of marriage, she has been compelled to endure all forms of marital violence: physical, sexual, emotional, psychological and economic.

The husband has already fathered two: a boy and a girl, and has been mentally abusing his wife by always slapping her in the face because of her inability to bear a child.

“Instead of you wearing a slight frown on your face to greet my daughter, can’t you bear your own?” he would ask her. “I never knew you paid God millions to bless you with your kids. May be I still need to double my investment to reach that million dollar mark, so that God can bless me, too, with a child,” she would respond, tearfully.

Not knowing this young wife had been struggling with some severe gynecological problems over the years. She was recently diagnosed with fibroids. She needs to undergo surgery any time soon.  But for this husband, it is all her fault that she has NOT been able to bear a child. First of all, he cares little about her medical problem. For him, his investment has gone to waste, because she is yet to satisfy her part of the deal (marriage).

Sunday’s flogging resulted in the wife sustaining severe injury. She had to spend three nights in the hospital because, according to doctors (gynecologists), she was bleeding profusely in the womb. Her abusers kicked her in her lower abdomen, slammed her against the wall, threw her on the floor and shoved her down the stairs of their five-bedroom home.  They also succeeded in uprooting a good portion of her hair, too.

Partner violence is a major contributor to women’s mental health problems, with women who have experienced partner violence being almost twice as likely to experience depression compared to women who have not experienced any violence, according to WHO. Some 35% of all women will experience either intimate partner or non-partner violence. The study finds that intimate partner violence is the most common type of violence against women, affecting 30% of women worldwide.

So, when will all these stop? Why do some men deem it necessary to physically engage their wives?  Why would these die-hard African-traditional men refuse to release their grip on the intentional, harmful or offensive unpermitted touching of their wives? Must she be severely beaten to put her in her place? Once the battery begins, it generally becomes more severe. NO one, to my knowledge, has ever given a decent explanation for brutalizing a woman. STOP BEING HEARTLESS AND BE A FRIEND FOR A SPLIT SECOND!